The Journey Begins


(I don't get to the point)

It was the year 2003. My husband saw me walking the halls of our overly bricked and outdated high school. I was in a heated relationship since 9th grade...(a year prior) so I was clueless to his existence. But apparently our lockers were close and we shared the same homeroom. To be quite honest, until I became the CEO of my ADD I probably was clueless to many things. Or he was a creeper? Anyway, he met me in 2003 without my knowledge.

Fast forward 5 "painful" (physical and distressed) years to 2008. I got extremely sick of hurting and hiding it that I ended it. A month or two later... I get the word that my husband has liked me ever since high school and that he thought I was the prettiest girl in it. (Insert "meh" emoji). I started to believe the putdowns the last 6 years so, it was hard for me to believe him. But I was a newly released bird ready to fly (honestly into college and surround myself with marijuana, alcohol, and sex) but for the beginning we'll just say FREEDOM! I Didn't care if he thought I was the second or the third prettiest, who cares! I'm free and I'm ready. I wasn't ready. I talked with him into the early morning laughing and having the time of my life that summer. But I was heading onto college and well... he didn't trust college so we never started anything. I already told you about the college life so fast forward to 2012.

By now I dropped out (•cough* suspended for below GPA required grades) of college, had CHILDREN (plural) and in yet another painful relationship. Not too painful this time around but enough to where at the age of one, I became a single mom. It also couldn't have been that painful because after reconnecting with my now husband for 3 great months, I stopped talking to him cold turkey and got back with their dad for (I'd say a day... not even). I went to bed that night and I knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life. His names Clint. Not the dad... but the guy who had a crush on me since 9th grade, who watched me walk down the halls, and tried to check my relationship status from time to time. Pre-Facebook era. Who I just ghosted (young term) out if nowhere. No warning... just disappeared? He moved on, I didn't. Maybe one or two here and there? But I had enough sex in college that the next 3 years were all about me and my boys.

Let's move on to 2015. A good year... Clint broke up with his current lady friend, I knew it, and I did whatever I could to get his attention. I would wake up thinking about him and go to bed thinking about him. But because in his mind I was this ghost, it never got anywhere. He'd get drunk and tell me I'd be an amazing wife, I'm so beautiful, he wishes he could have me... to shy, reserved, sober...and barely talking the next day. This lasted a year. On October of 2015 we finally met up and had a 3 hour date that to us, felt like 5 minutes. A month later he came over, and said "so we gonna do this"? Now we're married, he adopted the twins and we had another boy. Not at all in that order but it sounds better to a conservative reader.

So... this would be an AMAZING fairytale if it were all true. I mean, it is... except for that heartfelt feeling you got right at the end there like, if for the first time you were reading a real life "happy ever after". Unfortunately I was introduced to my ADHD until later in life. I didn't hide it, I educated him on it, but as time went on it got worse and worse. We are happy together... but the ADHD is "THE" argument and we can't escape it.